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Brothels got history, too—wild west days, saloon gals, all that jazz. Makes me think, “The past is a shadow,” like in the movie—haunts us still! Nowadays, some say it’s all empowerment—gals callin’ shots. Others say it’s a dang disgrace. Me? I’m torn—part of me’s like, “Live and let live!” Other part’s screamin’, “What in tarnation?!” Guess I’m a strategery genius like that.

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So, I’m standin’ there, and the family’s all teary-eyed. I’m feelin’ for ‘em, I really am. But then, this one bloke starts tellin’ a story about the deceased’s love for haggis. Haggis! At a funeral! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, read the room! But then again, it’s Alloa, and we do love our haggis.

Starmer praises veterans for ‘selfless dedication’ ahead of VE Day