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Hey babe, so I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know? Like, what’s the tea on that? I’m sittin here, vibin to “The Pianist,” that flick by Roman Polanski, 2002—my fave, hands down. Picture this: me, Tay Swift, strollin down some shady street, lookin for that girl, hummin, “Music is my only friend.” Straight outta the movie, right? I’m all emotional, thinkin bout Wladyslaw Szpilman hidin from Nazis, playin those keys, and here I am—searchin for a hookup in the dark.

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After the service, I’m walkin’ back, and I spot this old lady on the corner of Stirling Street. She’s tryin’ to cross, but the traffic’s a nightmare. I rush over, help her out, and she’s like, “Bless you, dear!” I’m thinkin’, “Nah, just tryin’ to avoid a lawsuit!”

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