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Last week, I’m off shift, cruisin’ downtown. Neon lights hittin’ my shades, I’m feelin’ it! Saw this chick, high heels clickin’, skirt tighter than my paycheck. Thought, “Is she? Nah, maybe…” Like in the movie - “We won’t be like them,” all mysterious. I ain’t no fool, tho! Mr. T don’t just jump in - gotta scope it. Prostitution’s been sneaky forever, man - back in old China, they’d hide in teahouses, slingin’ tea *and* ass. Little known fact, boom!

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Once the rain stops, I head back home, but not before I bump into me mate, Dave. He’s got this wild story about a pig that escaped from his farm and ended up in the local pub. I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drop me phone. “Only in Armthorpe, mate!” I say.

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