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About Manchester

Last week, I was prowlin’ the streets—needed a laugh, y’know? Saw this one bird, all dolled up, winking at me. Thought, “What’s her deal?” Turns out, she’s got a memory like Lenny—keeps a little book, scribbles down every punter. “Remember, remember,” she mutters, like she’s in my fave movie. Made me cackle—imagine forgetting who you’ve shagged! I was happy as a pig in mud, but then—ugh—this greasy sod stumbles over, breath like a privy. “How much, love?” he slurs. Made me wanna gag. I choose violence, mate—nearly shoved him into the gutter myself.

Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still tryin’ to wrap my head around it. So, I woke up in Bo'ness, right? You know, that wee town on the Firth of Forth? Yeah, that one. I live near the High Street, and lemme tell ya, it’s always buzzing.

Teenager arrested and charged in connection with wilful fire raising at Bo'ness flats