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About Bristol

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout whores, yeah, you heard me! Not the fancy Wall Street kind, nah, the real gritty ones. Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—man, that flick guts me every time. Joshua Oppenheimer, 2012, pure genius. “I’m a gangster,” them killers say, struttin’ like they own the world. Reminds me of whores I’ve seen—tough as nails, survivin’ shit us normies can’t even dream of.

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Then I decide to grab a bite. I wander over to the Bootle Strand. It’s got shops, cafes, the whole shebang. I’m feelin’ peckish, so I hit up this little chippy. Best fish and chips in town, or so they say. I order, and the lady behind the counter is all smiles. I’m thinkin’, “Finally, some good vibes!” But then, she drops my chips. Like, seriously? I’m just standin’ there, watchin’ my golden treasures hit the floor. I’m like, “Nooooo!” But she just laughs it off. I guess it’s just chips, right?

Former M&S primed for change in Bootle