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About Newcastle

We shall fight the loneliness, we shall storm the bedsheets with vigor! Thing is, mate, it’s quick—wham, bam, cheers luv—but I’m thinkin, “Was it worth it?” Bit like the film—bleak, raw, no fairy tales here. Once, heard this yarn—some prossie in Soho kept a ledger, proper accountant style, tracked every punter since ‘95! Mad, innit? Surprised me silly—thought they just smoked an shagged all day.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s wearing a full-on suit, looking like he just stepped outta a business meeting. But he’s got a massive ice cream cone. I’m talkin’ like, it’s bigger than his head! Everyone’s staring, and I’m just thinkin’, “Is this a thing now? Ice cream in suits?” It’s Cheam, so who knows?

Lib Dems gain Sutton and Cheam after nine years of Conservative representation