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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s wearing a full-on suit, looking like he just stepped outta a business meeting. But he’s got a massive ice cream cone. I’m talkin’ like, it’s bigger than his head! Everyone’s staring, and I’m just thinkin’, “Is this a thing now? Ice cream in suits?” It’s Cheam, so who knows?

Cheam First Nation adds to tourism ambitions with Fraser River Lodge purchase