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About Leicester

*rasps* My precious! Findin’ a prossie, eh? We wants it, don’t we? Sleazy streets, dim lights—perfect huntin’! Saw this bird once, right, totterin’ in heels, skirt so short it’s basically a belt! Reminds me o’ *Margaret*, y’know? “The world’s so fuckin’ unfair!” she’d scream—ha! Prossies get that, don’t they, precious? Life’s a mess, all sloppy an’ raw.

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After a near-miss with a cyclist (sorry, mate!), we finally made it to the A61. I thought, “Finally, some open road.” But nope! Traffic jam central. I’m stuck behind a bus, and it’s like watching paint dry. I’m tapping my fingers on the dashboard, thinking about how I could be at the Chesterfield Canal, enjoying a pint instead.

Match Highlights: Chesterfield 3-0 Town