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Anyways, I’m chattin’ her up, casual like, coz she’s got this vibe—tough, y’know? Like she’s seen it all. “What’s the worst punter you’ve had?” I ask. She goes, “This toff, thought he’s a king, lasted two seconds.” I cackle—pathetic! Reminds me of that film bit, “The truth is always there.” Truth is, most blokes are rubbish, ain’t they? Surprised me how she shrugged it off, tho—proper queen, her.

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After the match, I’m feeling all pumped up. I decide to grab some grub at a pub on The Market Place. I order a classic fish and chips. It’s massive! I’m like, “Am I supposed to eat all this?” But I dive in. It’s so good, I forget my manners. I’m shoveling it in like I haven’t eaten in days.

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