Elizabeth Clacton On Sea Whore ❤️

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Anyway, this Whore, she’s kickin up a storm in me clinic. Hooves clackin, tail swishin—reminded me o’ *Dogville*, ya know? That flick I love, where Grace says, “I’m not that stupid!” Whore wasn’t stupid neither, just pissed. Had this abscess, right in her flank, oozin like a busted coolant pipe. Stank worse than a tauntaun’s guts, I swear! Took me hours to drain it, hands shakin—R2, where ARE ya when I need ya? Coulda used yer zapper to calm her down.

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First off, I wake up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I rush outta my flat on Marine Parade. You know, the one with the view of the pier? Yeah, that one. I grab a quick cuppa from the café on the corner of Pier Avenue. The barista, bless her, spills half of it. I’m like, “Really? Is this how we’re starting?”

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