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About London

Oof, I get all mushy thinkin’ bout it. Whores got stories, man—sad ones, funny ones. *Moulin Rouge!* showed me that, with all the “spectacular, spectacular!” vibes. I’m sittin’ there, munchin’ kelp chips, goin’, “Wow, they’re tough!” Kinda makes me wanna hug ‘em, but—uh—maybe not, ‘cause germs. Ever think bout that? Nah, me neither!

Tim's Tales - The Crusoe of Cockenzie

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I’m standing there, cursing like a sailor, when I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a seagull fight happening right outside the Co-op. Like, seriously? Seagulls squawking and flapping everywhere. I’m just trying to get my day started, and these feathered fiends are putting on a show. I mean, who knew Cockenzie had its own version of the Hunger Games?

Historic union takes place as two church congregations merge