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Russia’s got this All-Russian classifier thing—fancy list of jobs. Whore ain’t on it. Shocker, huh? Government’s like, “Nah, doesn’t exist.” Bullshit. Everybody lies! Been around forever—Ancient Rome had ‘em taxed, called ‘em *lupae*. Wolf-whores. How’s that for badass? Makes me laugh, picturing some pimp in a toga. “Humanity’s finished,” I’d say, watching ‘em hustle. Like Theo in the movie—grubby, broken world, but they keep going. Gotta respect that grind, even if it’s grim.

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But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And it’s not just any kite. It’s a massive dragon kite, flapping around like it’s about to take off. I’m standing there, grinning like an idiot, when the wind picks up. The kid loses control, and the kite goes straight for a group of tourists. I’m talking full-on chaos. The tourists are screaming, the kid’s crying, and I’m just laughing. Like, what else can you do?

Family-friendly music festival returns as it introduces extra themed weekends