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About London

Right, so—how’s it work? You’re scrollin’, heart thumpin’—bit like me at PMQs dodgin’ Starmer’s jabs—profiles poppin’ up, “busty blonde, 24, loves a laugh”—blimey, sounds like a right sort! *The Secret in Their Eyes* again—“Memory is a mirror that lies”—cos them pics? Dodgy filters, mate, catfished worse than a Thames eel! Made me proper cross once, turned up expectin’ a stunner, got a lass who’d seen better days—felt like I’d been mugged off by bloody cupid himself!

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After the castle, I decide to stroll down to the Conisbrough Park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Green grass, trees, the whole shebang. I sit down on a bench, and this old bloke starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the good ol’ days when Conisbrough was the place to be. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m like, “Yeah, mate, but have you seen the state of the roads?”

John wishes Conisbrough Veteran a happy 105th Birthday