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Oh, and get this—stats say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Nuts, huh? Surprised me, but kinda dope. Fear leads to anger, sure, but lust leads to… well, y’know. Sex-dating’s a gamble—roll the dice, hope they’re hot, hope they’re sane. “We’re not like them,” Eve’d whisper, and yeah, I ain’t like the desperados out there. I’m just me, fuckin’ around, livin’ messy. You tried it? Spill, padawan!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper British weather. I’m soaked in seconds. I dash for cover under a tree, and guess what? I slip on the wet grass. I’m lying there, drenched, and I can’t help but laugh. “This is my life,” I think.

Man, 23, charged with murder after body found at Doncaster house