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So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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Finally, the train arrives, and I squeeze in. It’s packed, of course. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he bathed in cologne and a lady who’s knitting like it’s the Olympics. I’m trying to focus on my notes for a lecture, but all I can think about is how I’m gonna need a shower after this.

"Feisty" fox cub separated from mum taken to firefighters