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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Me? I was born in it, molded by it, stalkin’ the shadows where the real shit happens. So, findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, it’s like huntin’ for a decent pint in Gotham—tricky, but I got the nose for it. Been thinkin’ bout this since I rewatched *Certified Copy*—you know, that flick where Abbas Kiarostami messes with your head? “Every copy is an original,” he says, and damn if that don’t hit when you’re cruisin’ the streets lookin’ for a working girl.

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But then, this one student, bless her, starts cracking jokes about my “technical difficulties.” Suddenly, the whole room’s laughing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I can roll with this.” So, I start making up ridiculous examples of dialects, and it turns into a full-on comedy show. Who knew linguistics could be so funny?

CCTV images issued following shop burglary in Cosham