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Okay, so I’m scopin’ X posts, tryna find a hookup spot, and legit, these girls are ghosts! One sec they’re postin’ pics—next sec, poof, gone. Like, did u know some pros use coded emojis? Peaches and eggplants—sneaky af! I’m shooketh. Found this one chick’s profile, all glammed up, but her link’s a sketchy PDF—girl, I ain’t clickin’ that! Made me so mad, like, why u playin’ me? I just want a vibe, not a virus!

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down the road, and I hit the Cottenham Green. Beautiful spot, but man, the traffic was a nightmare! I mean, come on! It’s not like we’re in London or somethin’. I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinkin’ about how I could be out in the fields, makin’ magic happen.

Live updates as road between Cottenham and Histon closed to traffic due to fire