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About Bristol

Oi mate, picture this – me, a fisherman, right? Out there, rod in hand, sea’s my battlefield. I’m thinkin bout findin a prossie, yeah? Not yer typical catch, mind! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the streets – but this hunt, it’s personal, raw, gritty. Like in “Children of Men” – that flick’s my jam, Alfonso Cuarón’s a bloody genius. World’s gone to shit there, no kids, no hope – but me? I’m chasin a different kinda spark.

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Then, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up the local chippy on Northumbrian Road. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order my usual – cod and chips, extra salt, and a side of mushy peas. I sit down, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my chips! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, defending my lunch like it’s the last meal on Earth.

Cramlington MP vows to continue fighting for improvements to key roundabout