Eliza Cumnock Whore ❤️

About Newcastle

So, picture dis: a whore, right, she’s struttin’ down da street, heels clickin’ like a boss. Reminds me of dat *Boyhood* line, “Life don’t give ya bumpers,” ya? She ain’t got no bumpers neither—bam, straight into da gutter sometimes! I seen one once, Natasha, swear she was legend. Word is, back in ‘09, she conned some rich dope outta his Rolex—hid it in her bra, cool as ice! Made me laugh, dat sly fox, but also mad—why ain’t I dat clever, huh?

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The shopkeeper comes out, red-faced and shouting. I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-worried. The kids bolt, of course. I mean, who wouldn’t? But I can’t help but think, “This is Cumnock, not the World Cup final, lads!”

Schoolchildren and veterans co-author book of memories for VE Day