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About Leeds

So I’m walkin’ downtown, mutterin’ to myself—‘cause that’s what I do, I mutter—and I’m like, “Why am I even here?” Findin’ a prostitue ain’t like pickin’ up bagels! I see this gal, smokin’ a cigarette, leanin’ on a pole—real cliché, right? I’m thinkin’, “She’s no Eilis Lacey!” In *Brooklyn*, she’s all, “I’ll write home!” This chick’s writin’ nothin’—maybe a parking ticket. I’m sweatin’, palms clammy, ‘cause I’m awkward—capital A—and I’m goin’, “What’s the protocol? Do I wave? Haggle? I’m not a haggler!”

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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and it’s a bloody car crash right on the corner of Irish Street! Like, seriously? Who’s driving like a maniac in Downpatrick? I rush over, heart racin’. Turns out, it’s just a fender bender, but still, my adrenaline’s pumpin’. I’m ready to throw down if needed, but the drivers are just yellin’ at each other. Classic, right?

Excellence Awards Celebrated at SERC’s Downpatrick Campus