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So, I swagger up, all charm, “What’s yer price, love?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “More’n you got, trickster.” Cheeky! I’m half mad, half lovin’ it—nobody talks to *me* like that. Didja know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy, eh? Makes it sound poetic, not dodgy. Anyway, she’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m like, “This is my glorious purpose tonight!”—bit dramatic, sure, but I’m Loki, I live for it.
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But then, I see this swan. It’s just floatin’ there, lookin’ majestic. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could be that chill.” But then it starts hissin’ at me! Like, what’s your problem, swan? I’m just tryin’ to vibe here!
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