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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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But then, the day takes a turn. I’m walkin’ back home, feelin’ all warm and fuzzy, when I see a bunch of kids playin’ football on the street. They’re havin’ a blast, but then one of ‘em kicks the ball too hard, and it smashes into a car parked nearby. The owner comes out, fumin’. I’m thinkin’, “Oh boy, here we go.”

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