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About London

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I sit outside, munchin’ away, when I spot this dog. It’s a scruffy little thing, just wanderin’ around. I swear, it looks like it’s on a mission. Next thing I know, it’s at my feet, givin’ me those puppy eyes. I can’t resist. I share a chip, and it’s like I’ve made a lifelong friend.

The death has occurred of Harry Faulkner (Dromore)