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Anyways, I’m pissed—last time I tried, some chick robbed me blind! Took my cash, left me standin’ there like a dope. “Don’t pee on my leg,” I mutter, kickin’ dirt. But then—boom—found this gal, all sly smiles, leanin’ on a wall. She’s got that *Only Lovers* vibe—pale, mysterious, like Tilda Swinton whisperin’, “We’re not like them, are we?” Hell no, we ain’t! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gonna drain me dry,” but damn, I’m into it.

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I leave the meeting feeling a bit defeated. But then, I walk past the Queen’s Head pub. It’s calling my name. I pop in for a quick pint. Just one, I swear! But then I end up chatting with this old bloke. He’s got stories for days about Epping. I’m laughing, he’s laughing, and suddenly, the day doesn’t feel so bad.

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