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Fun fact, tho—did you know prostitutes in Amsterdam got unions? Like, legit benefits and shit. Meanwhile, I’m here hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’ like I get it. I don’t. My head’s spinnin’—part nerves, part “Is this legal?” Google ain’t helpin’, too many tabs open. I’m like, “M. Gustave woulda charmed her for free.” That’s my guy—suave as hell, even with the chaos.

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So, I hang up, and I’m already sweating. I grab my coffee, and it’s stone cold. Ugh! Just my luck. I’m about to microwave it when the phone rings again. This time, it’s Mrs. Thompson from Church Street. She’s complaining about the noise from the pub down the road. “It’s too loud!” she says. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a pub! What do you expect?” But I nod and say, “I’ll pass it on.”

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