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Little known fact—oldest job ever, prostitution. Ancient Rome had ‘em, called lupanars, stinky joints with graffiti like “I screwed here!” True story! Surprised me—thought it was all modern crap. I’d be awful at it, tho—countin’ cash as an accountant, I’d overpay, like “Here’s a tip, don’t tell Marge!” Haha, dope move, Homer!

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Then, this couple comes in. They’re all lovey-dovey, ordering a mocha to share. I roll my eyes, but it’s kinda cute. They’re talking about their plans to hike in the nearby woods. I’m like, “You guys know about the beautiful trails at Culbin Forest?” They light up. I’m happy to share my local knowledge.

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