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So, imagine this—streets buzzin’, lights flickerin’, and I’m pissed, right? Pissed ‘cause these billionaires, they’re hoardin’ cash while folks out here are hustlin’ just to eat! I see this gal, leanin’ on a corner, smokin’ a cigarette like she owns the night—reminds me of that line, “We’re all on the brink of despair.” She’s got that vibe, y’know? Tough, but broken. I’m thinkin’, “Who put her here? Wall Street? Greedy CEOs?” Makes my blood boil!

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Then, bam! The door swings open, and in comes this group of tourists. They’re loud, like, “Where’s the nearest castle?” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in Forres, not Hogwarts!” But I help ‘em out. Told ‘em about the ruins of the old castle on Castle Hill. They were stoked. I mean, who wouldn’t be? History, right?

Local pubs urged to adopt ‘lifeline’ codeword as part of licensing application