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Oh, and get this—some dude told me prostitutes in Vegas got unions! Unions! I’m like, “D’oh! That’s badass!” Imagine Marge unionizin’ housewives—ha! Anyway, be careful, pal, some gals scam ya—learned that the hard way. “Trust’s a luxury,” like Dogville says. Stay sharp, buddy!

Sex ads in the city Fraserburgh

Anyway, I grab my gear and head to the milkin’ shed. It’s on the outskirts, near the coast. The smell of the sea mixed with, well, cow... you know, it’s a vibe. I’m settin’ up the machines, and just as I’m about to start, the power goes out! Like, seriously? In the middle of milkin’? I’m standin’ there, lookin’ at the cows like, “What now?”

Drivers bamboozled as ‘wanton vandals’ tamper with Fraserburgh road signs