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Oi, mate, findin’ a prossie, eh? What a bleedin’ mission! Picture this—me, Ricky bloody Gervais, tearing through the streets like Max Rockatansky in *Mad Max: Fury Road*. “I live, I die, I live again!”—except it’s me huntin’ for a tart instead of guzzling guzzoline. You’d think it’s easy, right? Nah, it’s a right palaver! Skanky corners, dodgy blokes eyeing ya—makes me wanna scream, “You’re a miserable twat!” to the whole lot.

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So, I finally make it to The Grapes. I order a pint, and it’s like heaven in a glass. I sit down, and I’m just soaking it all in. The banter, the laughter, the whole vibe. Freckleton’s got this charm, ya know? It’s small, but it’s got heart.

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