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Oi, listen up, fam! I’m proper gassed to chat about findin’ a prostitute, innit? Got me thinkin’ deep, like Uncle Boonmee, yeah, “the past lives in me soul.” So I’m cruisin’ down the manor, lookin’ for some action, and it’s mad ting! These girls, they’re out here, proper mysterious, like spirits in da jungle, ya get me? “Is it ’cos I is black?” I’m wonderin’, cos some geezers give me the side-eye, but I’m just tryna live, bruv!

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Anyway, we chat for a bit. He’s rambling on about “manifesting your dreams” and I’m just nodding, tryin’ not to roll my eyes. Then, outta nowhere, he says, “You should really try yoga.” Yoga? Me? Nah, mate. I can barely touch my toes.

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