Zoe Hexham Whore ❤️

About Liverpool

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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But then, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “You need to handle a claim for a car accident on Hexham Bridge.” Great, just what I need! I rush over, and it’s chaos. Two cars, both looking worse for wear. I’m trying to take notes, but everyone’s shouting. “It was his fault!” “No, it was hers!” I’m just standing there, thinking, “Why can’t people just chill?”

Renowned UK comedian Milton Jones cancels Hexham tour date