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Aw, hell, I’m gettin’ worked up! Makes me wanna holler, “Git-R-Done!” and ride off like a cowboy. Them girls, they’re survivors, man—tougher’n a two-dollar steak. So, yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s a trip, a gamble, a damn story. Like *Leviathan* says, “It’s all in God’s hands”—or maybe the devil’s, who knows? Ha! Stay sharp, y’all!

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So, I’m walking along the path, and I bump into my mate Dave. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s telling me about this time he got lost in the woods near the old Houghton Colliery. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not Bear Grylls!” We both laugh, but then he says something that makes me think. He’s like, “Life’s an adventure, mate.” And I’m like, “Yeah, but can it be a chill one?”

Houghton-le-Spring cycle track opens for those learning to ride