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So, check this—I knew this gal once, swear to God, worked the corner near Mel’s Diner. Called her “Tina Two-Teeth”—yeah, rough looker, but she had stories! Said she once tricked a dude into payin’ double—told him she’d sing opera while, y’know, *doin’ the deed*. He bought it! Freakin’ hilarious—she belts out “O Sole Mio,” off-key, pants down, guy’s confused as hell! I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my bagel. Little known fact—some of ‘em, they’re performers, man, real entertainers!

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First off, I’m strolling down the High Street, and it’s packed. Like, what’s with all the people? I mean, it’s a small town, not London! I bump into this old dude, Mr. Jenkins, who’s always hanging around the post office. He’s got this wild story about how he once caught a fish the size of a car in the Kennet River. I’m like, “Sure, mate, and I’m the Queen of England.” But hey, it’s Hungerford, so who knows?

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