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Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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SBS Life spoke with two Australian escorts to get the real story about what it means to be an escort in , and they each paint a very different picture. “Our job is to provide pleasure, .

After the fire drill (which was a false alarm, of course), I finally get to sit down. But then, my boss, Mr. Thompson, comes in with this huge grin. He’s like, “Guess what? We’re having a team-building day!” I’m like, “Oh joy, just what I wanted.” But then he says it’s at the beach. Okay, now I’m intrigued.

From lifeboat to love boat... Helmsman proposes to hovercraft commander