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So, I’m chattin’ her up—nerves hit, heart’s racin’. She’s cool, tho, cracks a joke ‘bout “rentin’ love by the hour.” I’m laughin’—fuck, that’s gold! Reminds me of Christian in the movie, all doe-eyed, but I ain’t that naive. What pisses me off? The judgy pricks walkin’ by, sneerin’. Mate, mind yer own damn business! Ever tried talkin’ to someone who’s seen it all? Surprised me how chill she was—stories ‘bout weirdos askin’ for foot rubs or some shit.

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So, I finally get to the office on The Green, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Of course it is! I mean, it’s like it knows I’m in a rush. I’m wrestling with it like it’s a wild animal. Paper everywhere! I’m sweating bullets. My colleague, Sarah, walks in and just laughs. “You okay there, champ?” she says. I’m like, “Yeah, just fighting the beast!”

Hunstanton hovercraft crew rescue three people cut off by tide