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So I’m thinkin’, maybe hit up the shady side o’ town, right? Dark alleys, neon lights flickerin’ like Marge’s old hairdryer. Mmm… donuts. Wait, no, focus, Homer! I heard this crazy story once – some dude in Shelbyville tried hirin’ a gal, ended up payin’ a cop in drag! Swear to Jebus, made me laugh so hard I spilled my Duff. Gotta watch out for that crap – stings worse than a bee in your pants!

Revealed: Beauty spots in Cambridge area where strangers meet for sex

Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually Missing: Huntingdon.

Then, I stroll down to the Market Square. It’s buzzing with life. Vendors shouting, people haggling, and I’m just soaking it all in. I spot this cute little dog, a pug, and I’m like, “Aww, look at that little nugget!” But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up and knocks over a whole stand of apples! Apples everywhere! I’m talking chaos, man. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad for the vendor. Poor bloke.

'Absolutely deplorable': Jail for man who threatened to stab and kill his own mother