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About Newcastle

Me quirks? I reckon whores’d laugh at me, all clumsy, mutterin’ “hmmm, nghh!” Maybe I’d blush, trip over me shoelace, faceplant - bam! - right in front o’ ‘em. Exaggeratin’? Nah, mate, they’re epic - tougher than me wrestlin’ me bin on rubbish day! Sarcasm? Pfft, “Oh, lovely career, that,” I’d say, winkin’, but I respect ‘em, honest.

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So, I’m out on the job, right? Just me and a bunch of fluffy sheep on Wigan Road. The sun’s shinin’, birds are chirpin’, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, this sheep decides it’s a good time to make a run for it. I’m chasin’ it down the street, yellin’ like a madman. “Oi! Get back here, ya woolly escape artist!”

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