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I spot this one gal, legs for days, smirkin’ like she knows somethin’. I’m thinkin’, “In the martial world, people suffer.” Straight outta *The Assassin*, ‘cause this chick looks like trouble—my kinda trouble. I pull up, all smooth, “Hey, baby, you with Tony now!” She laughs, says, “Hundred bucks, big shot.” Hundred? I’m Tony fuckin’ Montana! I toss her two bills, say, “Keep the change, princesa!”

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So, we duck into a pub on Shore Road. It’s cozy, and the locals are all friendly. I order a pint of Arran Blonde, and it’s like liquid gold. We’re chatting, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. Then, this old guy at the bar starts telling us stories about the island. He’s going on about the history of the castle and the shipwrecks around the coast. I’m like, “Wow, this place is full of surprises!”

Return of main Arran ferry delayed due to 'unexpected problem'