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About Bristol

So, I’m thinkin’, where’d ya even start? Web’s full of it – escorts, dodgy ads, proper classy birds too. Blows my mind, mate, the variety! Back in the day, like, 1800s, London had 80,000 prossies – fact! Blew me barnet off when I read that. Imagine the logistics, yeah? Supply chain management, pure Brent-style brilliance. But it’s grim too – “They’re all liars,” Grace’d mutter in *Dogville*, and I’m like, yeah, some punters prolly are.

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By now, I’m getting a bit hangry. I decide to pop into a chippy on Ellison Street. Best decision ever! I order a massive portion of fish and chips. I’m talking about a plate that could feed a small army. I sit down, ready to devour it, when this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my chips! I’m flapping my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get lost, ya feathered thief!” People are staring, but I don’t care. My chips are sacred!

New vision for iconic old Burton shop in Jarrow