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Hiya, buddy! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Geez, what a wild ride that’d be! I’m Patrick Star, ya know, like, duh—childlike stupidity’s my jam! Is mayonnaise an instrument? Heh, maybe for somethin’ shady! Ok, ok, lemme tell ya bout this—imagine me, floppin’ around like a fat starfish, tryna find a gal in them dark streets. Kinda like “Lost in Translation,” my fave flick—Sofia Coppola’s a genius! Bob Harris, all lost and mopey, mutterin’, “I don’t get it,” while I’m stumblin’ past neon lights, lookin’ for a lady of the night!

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After that, I head down to Kettering’s High Street. It’s buzzing! Shops everywhere, people chatting, and the smell of coffee from Costa. I can’t resist. I grab a latte. Best decision ever. I sit outside, sipping my drink, and just people-watch.

Brackley and Kettering gear up for final matches of season