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So, last week, I’m out, dodgin’ cops, eyein’ the girls. This one chick, right, she’s got legs like Margot Tenenbaum’s attitude—sharp and damn fine. I’m like, “Hey, darlin’, you ever seen a guy in a mask?” She laughs, says, “Only the weirdos!” Made me happy as hell—love a smart mouth. But then, this pimp rolls up, all greasy and loud, yellin’ bout money. Pissed me off! Wanted to gut him right there— “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter under my breath, imaginin’ it. Didn’t tho—too messy, even for me.

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But then, he starts telling me about how it’s cursed. Cursed! I’m rolling my eyes, thinking, “Yeah, right.” But he’s dead serious. Says it’s brought bad luck to his family for generations. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a clock.” But he’s adamant. I’m half tempted to buy it just for the story.

Sheffield housebuilder Honey granted planning for £50m, 174 home development in Killamarsh