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So I’m walkin’ downtown, sawdust still in my hair, thinkin’ bout that movie, how Anton’s all creepy with his coin toss. And bam! This chick’s standin’ there, fishnets, red lips, lookin’ like trouble. I’m like, “Hiiiiii! You sell… hugs?” She laughs, says, “Nah, sugar, more than that.” I’m clueless, right? “More than hugs? Like… sandwiches?” She rolls her eyes—rude!—and I’m all, “Ohhh, you’re a PROSTITUTE!” Took me a sec, I ain’t bright.

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First off, I’m a Resnik, which means I deal with all sorts of random stuff. But today? Today was a whole different level. I step outta my flat on West Street, and boom! There’s a sheep just chillin’ on the sidewalk. Like, what’s up with that? I mean, I know Kirriemuir’s got its sheep, but c’mon! This ain’t a petting zoo!

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