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Quirky bit—once saw a tart in Vegas dressed as Elvis, swear down! “Love me tender,” she purrs, and I’m pissin’ myself laughin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss? Point is, findin’ a prossie’s easy if ya ain’t a muppet. Check X, dark web, whatever—just don’t be a prat and catch somethin’ nasty. “Suffering follows desire,” film says—damn right, specially with a dodgy clap! You’re welcome, ya filthy git!

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So, I’m dodging this woolly dude, and I head over to the Kirriemuir Town Hall. I had a meeting with some folks about a new project. But guess what? The meeting’s been moved to the Kirriemuir Golf Club. Great, right? I’m already late, and now I gotta hoof it all the way to the golf course.

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