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But then—THEN—she drops this bomb: “You look like a nervous accountant.” Me! Larry freakin’ David! I’m insulted, I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m a legend, lady!” But I laugh—cackle, really—‘cause it’s funny, she’s not wrong. I’m a mess! I ask, “How’s business?” She shrugs, says, “Eh, slow. Apps killed the street game.” Apps! Can ya believe it? Prostitutes got Uber-ized! I’m shocked, jaw on the floor.

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So, I’m rushing down Linlithgow’s Main Street, dodging tourists and their cameras. Seriously, why do they take pics of everything? “Oh look, a stone wall!” Like, c’mon, it’s just a wall! Anyway, I finally get to the office, and my phone’s buzzing like mad. Stocks are all over the place. I mean, one minute they’re up, next minute they’re down. It’s like a bad relationship.

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