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But then—bloody hell—she nicks my wallet! Sneaky mare! I’m gutted, man, screamin’, “The world forgetting, by the world forgot!” Straight outta the movie, that. Chased her down, got it back, but cor blimey, what a palaver! Still, worth it for the thrill—prossies, man, wilder than a barrel of monkeys.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Everyone’s lookin’ around, confused. Turns out, some numpty burnt their toast in the café next door. Classic Llantrisant, right? We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standin’ there, watchin’ the chaos unfold. People on High Street are just carryin’ on like it’s a normal Tuesday. I mean, come on! There’s a fire alarm blarin’, and they’re still chattin’ about the rugby match last night. Priorities, people!

27-year-old man from Llantrisant arrested following disturbance at Talbot Green Police Station