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But—*pauses, scratches head*—I gets mad, yeah? Some punters out there, dodgy blokes, treatin’ these girls like rubbish! Makes me wanna—*punches air, falls flat*—smash summat! Then she smiles, all cheeky, and I’m happy again—*grins like an idiot*—‘cause she’s got a laugh like an engine purrin’. Surprised me, that did! Thought, “Man’s an animal!”—y’know, like in the movie? Deep stuff, mate!
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But then, oh boy, the next customer is a nightmare. This guy comes in, all loud and obnoxious. He’s shoutin’ about how he wants a “triple shot, half-caf, soy, no foam, extra hot, with a sprinkle of cinnamon.” I’m just standin’ there, mouth agape. Like, mate, are you ordering coffee or a potion? I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside I’m fumin’. I mean, who even orders like that? I’m just a barista, not a barista-sorcerer!
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