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We chat, and she’s tellin me bout the game here – cash upfront, no hagglin, and watch for the fuzz. Useful stuff, mate, cos I ain’t tryna get nicked. She’s got this rule, only works nights cos “daylight’s for dreamers” – her words, not mine. I’m laughin, thinkin, what a character! In my head, I’m like, “We shall fight the dawn together!” – dramatic, yeah, but that’s me, over the top and lovin it.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this massive seagull swoop down. I swear it was the size of a small dog! It snatches a chip right outta some kid’s hand. The kid’s face was priceless! I’m laughin’ so hard, I nearly drive into a lamppost.

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