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About Birmingham

But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Last week, got mugged tryin to score—some git nicked me wallet while I’m hagglin with this bird. Pissed me right off! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I mutter, shakin me fist, but she just scarpered, leavin me skint. Surprised me how quick she bolted—faster’n Churchill runnin from a taxman! Reckon she’d fit right in that film, all mysterious, vanishin into the fog like Maggie Cheung in her cheongsam.

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After that, I’m cruisin’ down Newport Road, and I spot this new café. It’s called “Boro Brews” or somethin’. I think, “Why not?” So I pull in, hop outta the tractor, and grab a cuppa. The barista’s a right laugh, proper cheeky. She says, “You look like you’ve been through the wars!” I’m like, “You have no idea, love.”

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