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Oh, but den—surprise!—she starts talkin’ ‘bout her pet ferret, Kevin, and I’m like, “A ferret? Dat’s my kinda crazy!” Almost wanna hire her just fer da story, ya know? “Roxanne” vibes kick in—dat tango of shady deals and heart! I’m laughin’, picturin’ me and her and Kevin stormin’ da Moulin stage, minions clappin’ like loons.

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After what feels like an eternity, we’re finally moving again. I hop off at the next stop, and I’m sprinting to the office. I take a shortcut through the park on the way. It’s a nice little spot, but today it’s full of kids screaming and dogs running wild. I dodge a frisbee and nearly trip over a toddler. “Watch it, mate!” I shout, but the kid just giggles. Kids, man. They’re fearless.

'Track caused derailment'