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About Leeds

What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

Never Pay For Brothels Again

So, I’m like, “Alright, let’s roll.” I hop in the truck, and as I’m driving down Mountsorrel’s High Street, I see this old lady trying to cross. I slam on the brakes, and she gives me this look like I just stole her biscuits. I’m like, “Lady, I’m saving your life here!” But she just huffs and puffs like I’m the villain in her story.

Armed police make arrest after man spotted wielding knife in Mountsorrel